The Forgiveness Gift

Last week, the unthinkable happened at work.  A close colleague verbally unloaded on me in a painful, unjustified way.  It was a shot out the blue, and was delivered with anger and a sense of justification that had supposedly "smoldered for years".  I was crushed.  I had just begun a week long vacation, and it was ruined.  It was so disturbing and perplexing that it was difficult to sleep at night, and my wife suggested I seek other employment.  But I decided instead of burying the problem I would discuss it directly with my coworker when I returned on Monday.  I knew this would go either well, or very, very badly.  The latter unfortunately occurred.  She doubled down for round two of verbal abuse.  I informed her that this verbal harassment needed to stop.  If not, formal steps would be taken.  She was crushed, as many are when they don't see their own ill-behavior.  She refused to talk to me the whole week, and secluded herself to her office.  I mediated and prayed the whole week of how to resolve the issue.  Finally, on Friday afternoon, a sense of peace overwhelmed me, and the anxiety of the situation lifted.  I realized that this was not my cross to bear, but in order for both of us to heal, one of us needed to break the ice with the other.  I also knew she was going on vacation herself the next week, and I didn't want her to have a terrible week like I had had.  Hard as it was, I willed myself down the hall and entered her office, not exactly knowing what to say.  I cleared my throat, and told my colleague I was very sorry for the interaction we had had on Monday.  I assured her that from my prospective, we would always be friends.  But for the time being, my goal was the hope that she would have a good week off and not let this bother her.  She was still and listened intently, and then quietly said "thank you".  I left quietly on that note, but was liberated from a burden that could be relieved in no other way.  I knew at that moment that I had also given her a gift that would allow her to heal as well.  

LESSON LEARNED:  Forgiveness is a gift that is extended and offered, even when we are the injured party. It is what the Master, our Lord Jesus Christ, would expect us to do as we seek to turn the other cheek and to emmulate His example.

FEEDBACK:  WHAT HAS BEEN YOUR EXPERIENCE WITH FORGIVING OTHERS?

Microscope Eyepieces Gone

During my career as a skin pathologist, I have had encounters with many residents in training, and even occasionally with medical students.  I am a bit hesitant to have medical students work with me, because they are so young in their training and pathology is so specialized. But I consented once for a young lady who was a third year medical student.  She was the daughter of a fellow doctor I was acquainted with, so I agreed to have her sit in on one of my afternoon sign-out sessions.  I took down my extra microscope head from a box on my shelf, and attached it to my own microscope.  With the aid of small mirrors within a metal tube that connected the two heads, two observers can look through eyepieces side by side and see the same things at once.  The afternoon went surprisingly well.  She seemed very interested, and readily acknowledged all the fine details I was pointing out on the slides.  I was impressed with her enthusiasm, and when she left after our three hours together, I wondered if she might indeed become a pathologist one day.  Imagine my shock, though, when I discovered that both of the eyepieces to her microscope head had slipped out of place and lay hapless in the box that I took off my shelf in the morning.  The head through which she had peered all afternoon housed only two useless eye tubes.  She hadn't seen a thing, other than two searing, painful pinpoints of intense light that had probably fried her retinas.  I chuckled to myself in puzzlement and pity, amazed at both her pretense and pain threshold.  

LESSON LEARNED:  Never be embarrassed or afraid to open your mouth and question something when you don't know what is going on!  The "emperor's new clothes" thing only goes so far, and you probably won't get away with it!

FEEDBACK:  WHAT EMBARRASSING MOMENTS HAVE YOU HAD DUE TO FEAR OF DISCOVERY OR EMBARRASSMENT?

Stuffed in Locker

Sixth grade was sheer terror.  Why anyone would think that 11 and 12 year olds were big enough to go to Junior High is beyond me.  The ninth graders seemed to tower over us.  Some of them even had facial hair, for heavens sake.  Much of my time was spent sulking from one hallway from another, trying not to be noticed.  Like a small ant cowering for safety under one ground leaf to another, I would dot-to-dot myself down the hallway into the protective watch of the teachers that would stand by their doors between classes.  And why all this stress?  Locker stuffing.  Yes, that's right.  The favorite humiliation imposed on us sixth graders, dished out by the massive ninth graders, was to take us small subjects and stuff us into a locker.  Once inside one of the skinny halfway lockers, the door was shut, leaving you captive until some merciful Samaritan heard your pitiful knocking and released you.  All seemed to go well the first few weeks, and it seemed for a time that I was destined to dodge these random bullets of mortification.  Until one day.  I was grabbed by a ninth grader named LeGrande and a handful of his cronies, and before I knew it, I was encased in one of these tight caskets of pitch black darkness.  And then the worst thing of all happened (no, I didn't pee my pants).  I broke out crying.  Ouch, talk about the wrong thing to do.  They let me out, amidst cheers and laughter of "aw, he's crying" as I hurried away in shame.  I realized a couple years later that getting stuffed into a locker was really not that big of a deal, and learning to roll with event, rather than be petrified by it, may have resulted in my laughing, not crying, when it happened.  

LESSON LEARNED:  Don't sweat the small stuff.  So much of what happens to us in life doesn't really matter, and when it does, try and embrace it rather that fearing it.  

FEEDBACK:  WHAT EMBARRASSING EXPEREINCES HAVE YOU HAD THAT YOU LEARNED LESSONS FROM LATER ON?